Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Couple Arrested for Strapping Children to Car Roof: "The Kids Loved It," Man Says

Two Northern Indiana parents were arrested Monday after police said they strapped their four children to the roof of their car. "The kids loved it," father claims.


9:39 p.m. EDT, May 7, 2012
Fort Wayne, Indiana


Two Northern Indiana parents were arrested Monday after police said they strapped their four children to the roof of their car.  Ft. Wayne police were called to the Belmont Beverage liquor store in the 2100 block of Fairfield Avenue around 5:30 p.m. Witnesses said the parents had visited the liquor store before driving off. 


A U.S. Marshall reportedly spotted the car travelling on Fairfield near the liquor store. The couple was immediately pulled over.


"The kids loved it," the children's father said in his defense. "Yes," the mother agreed. "They get excited every time we go somewhere."


The U.S. Marshall demanded to know why the couple thought it was a good decision to travel with the children on the roof of the car. "Well," the mother said, "one of the kids has the runs. She ate the turkey off the counter."


"I was just going to that gas station to hose her down," the man added, pointing down the street.


While being handcuffed, the man became agitated, screaming, "I built them a special windshield! They were in an airtight container!"


The officer told reporters on the scene that he has been in law enforcement for over 25-years. "I've never seen anything so dangerous and cruel in my life. The minute I got those kids down from there, they tried to run away."


"They 'Seamused' their own kids," the officer said.






-Note: This story is true. The parents' "excuses" are satire, previously made by Mitt and Ann Romney in defense of their own decision to strap their dog to the roof of their car for a 12-hour drive to Canada-


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