Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Roof-Racked Dog Appears in "Romney Girl" Video Savaging Romney

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Mitt Romney's Ties to El Salvadoran Death Squads


We told you previously how Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital made him rich with investments that are unfriendly to animals. Now, even more disturbing news has surfaced.

A few weeks ago, rumors began to swirl that Romney might have founded Bain Capital with dirty money from El Salvadoran families with ties to that country’s civil war atrocities. The Huffington Post reports this week that the Romney campaign, when asked about the matter, responded only by forwarding a 1999 Salt Lake Tribune article that states, "about $6.5 million of $37 million that established the company came from wealthy El Salvadoran families linked to right-wing death squads."

According to the United Nations, right-wing death squads were responsible for 85% of the 35,000 death squad murders during the El Salvadoran civil war from 1979 – 1992. 

Romney and Bain Capital went on to earn hundreds of millions of dollars by buying companies and then outsourcing American jobs to cheaper labor markets overseas and by investing in companies like Stericycle and Burlington Coat Factory. Stericycle specializes in disposing of aborted human fetuses and animals killed by animal testing. Burlington Coat Factory has been cited for importing improperly labeled coats made from the skins of dogs and cats killed in China.

Is there no limit to how low Mitt Romney is willing to go to enrich himself? 

Sources: 

The Huffington Post:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/08/mitt-romney-death-squads-bain_n_1710133.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvadoran_Civil_War#Human_Rights_Abuses

New York Magazine: http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2012/07/romney-invested-in-a-fetus-disposal-company.html

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burlington_Coat_Factory

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Sunday, August 5, 2012

On Eve of Curiosity Rover Mars Landing, Romney Announces His Own Space Program

August 5, 2012
Boston, MA

On the eve of the Curiosity rover landing, NASA's most ambitious Mars landing attempt ever, Mitt Romney took the opportunity to discuss his own ideas for America's space program. "I will bring America's beloved shuttle out of mothballs," Romney said.

When reporters pressed him for further details, Romney would only say, "Once I'm President, I'll tell you." From the back of the room, someone shouted, "Is there any truth to the rumor that you're invested in seven companies that would get billions of dollars in contracts to make the shuttle ready to fly again?" Visibly angered by the question, Romney snapped, "You people have all you need to know about my finances."

"Why bring the shuttle back, Governor Romney, when NASA says it is no longer an economically viable space vehicle? How do you justify your plan from a budgetary standpoint?" asked CNN's Miles O'Brien. "NASA made that decision because the shuttle has a small payload capability," Romney said. "I have a plan to increase its payload capability, thereby making it able to carry more material into space each time it is launched," Romney explained. "You're planning to strap a giant dog crate to the shuttle?" O'Brien asked. "Not a 'dog crate,'" Romney snapped. "It's a highly advanced, airtight container that has been modified to attach to the shuttle's roof. It has a special windshield," he added.

"How much will this so called 'highly advanced" container cost? And who will build it?" shouted the reporter from the back of the room. "We estimate the container will only cost around $13 Billion," Romney answered. "And who will build it?" the reporter shouted again.

"That's all the questions I have time for today," Romney said as he was rushed from the room by his handlers.

Note: This is satire.
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